Why can’t women spend money on themselves?

So, you’ve seen a gorgeous piece of keepsake jewellery that you’ve fallen in love with.   It would make you so happy to have those precious prints with you all the time.   But somehow you just can’t justify buying it.

Sound familiar? 

You’re not the only one! I recently surveyed my Facebook fans and the overwhelming response to why they haven’t bought yet was due to being able to justify the purchase.

I know how you feel!  I have spent the last few weeks looking at a pair of trainers for my holiday, not a super expensive pair, but not exactly from the budget range either.
I have already been out and bought my kids new trainers for the trip (which will involve a lot of walking!), so why am I having so much trouble purchasing a pair for myself?

I can think of hundreds of reason why buying them is not a good idea….

  • I have a pair of trainers already, they are a bit worn out and not that comfy but they are ok.
  • I’m a mum, I should spend my money on making sure the kids have a good trip, it doesn’t matter if I have to go without to make that happen. That money might pay for an extra day out.
  • What if my car breaks down and I have to find a ton of money to fix it?
  • It’s selfish to spend money on myself when I have children to provide for.
  • I’m supposed to be saving for a kitchen, bathroom and various other home improvements.
  • I’m just not the sort of person who buys expensive things, I’m frugal and proud of it.
  • I’m earning less that I used to, so I need to be more careful with my money.
  • Maybe if I wait long enough and drop enough hints my husband will show me how much he loves me by buying them for me…
  • I’ve got no money in my bank account…
  • Oh actually, I just checked and I do have some cash in my account but just think of all the other things that money could be spent on!
  • I don’t NEED these particular trainers, I just WANT them.

I could go on and on and on listing all the reasons why I have talked myself out of buying the trainers (which are only £40, not exactly a massive amount when some people have trainers worth £100s!).

Now, with my background being in psychology I started thinking about this and I started to wonder why I really couldn’t bring myself to buy the shoes. It isn’t money, I have some cash in the bank, not a lot, but enough to cover the cost of the trainers and have some left for an emergency.
It isn’t that I am being selfish, after all I only just bought my kids new trainers and if I am honest I buy them new stuff all the time, they are pretty spoiled really!
I do earn less than I used to, that is true. But actually if I am honest I am still using it as an excuse! I haven’t bought myself anything in absolutely ages!
It isn’t even because the car might break down, it’s not like I am going to spend every last penny in my account and even if it the car did land me with a huge bill, I can find the money from somewhere, even if I have to get a bank loan or borrow it from my dad!

I’m still not quite sure why I put up so many barriers to spending money on myself, I think it’s just an inbuilt thing that us women do (my husband doesn’t seem to have the same problem!).   Maybe it’s a sense of inadequacy because we usually don’t earn as much or contribute as much financially? I don’t know.

One thing is for sure, now that I have thought a bit more rationally about it, and realised that all of my excuses are actually quite ridiculous I now can’t justify NOT buying the shoes!
So guess what, I’m off to order them now 🙂  In a month’s time I’ll have forgotten I was so worried about spending £40, but I’ll have my lovely comfy trainers for a long time after.

Are you making the same irrational excuses about an item you’ve had your eye on for ages?  I challenge you to go an make that purchase right now, whilst your rational mind is still in charge!


Detailed Foot or Handprint Jewellery CharmFingerprint Jewellery CharmFoot or Handprint charm Bead (fits pandora)

1 thought on “Why can’t women spend money on themselves?

  1. I’m afraid Gemma, I think this just goes with being a mum and it my case it has never left me even though you are all grown up independent and very sensible adults. The very first thing that came into my mind as I was reading this blog was ” I want to buy Gemma those trainers” not for any other reason than I simply get more pleasure from spending my money on my family than I ever could by spending it on myself.
    Equally, I love to receive gifts. You will recall that I mentioned at Christmas that in 35 years of marriage I hade never owned or bought for myself, a decorative cake stand. Why???? I really don’t know. I love making homemade cakes for when the family come to visit and affordability is certainly not the reason, so I can’t tell you why.
    However when I got 2 for my birthday, I was thrilled, over the moon.
    Maybe some of us are just “givers” because that’s actually what makes us happiest but I admit, actually spending money on yourself is not an easy thing to do when you know the money could easily be spent on more mundane things, but you overcame your inhibition and you did it so WELL DONE, you certainly deserve it and I am very proud of you XXXX

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